um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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