forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
