you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
