good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
