Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you never un-have a 4some
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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