Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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