Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize