it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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