I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
