when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
