i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
