And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
