My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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