so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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