"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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