I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
