So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
