last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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