Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We need to rekindle our bromance
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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