I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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