Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no you cant smoke seaweed
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
