...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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