her vagine was all disorganized.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
