Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
