Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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