it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
