jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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