i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
