apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
