WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize