ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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