But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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