South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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