the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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