i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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