had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
