I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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