its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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