i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Never joke about your clitoris.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
