walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
