i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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