All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There r osticjed everywhere
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My penis needs a shock collar
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
