Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
