I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
