The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
