My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize