she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
