it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
