I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
