Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
