Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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