Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
