after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
