dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
