Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
