'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
