Kiss
Puke
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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