I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
