i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
