# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
