He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
