I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize