She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
