she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
