Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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