What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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