no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
