Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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