You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
