She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
