Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
