dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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