2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
