just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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