That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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